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Finance and protecting the kids

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In this second episode of Splitting Up Dot Pod, Joanne Major revisits Mandy’s separation story to dig a bit deeper into the problems she faced over finances and protecting her daughter.

Mandy was financially abused as her partner controlled the family finances – but when she discovered all his gambling debts, it was the final straw.

First Joanne speaks to specialist independent financial advisor Fiona Sharp of Verve Financial planning who shares her experience of dealing with the financial arrangements around separation.

Then Joanne hears from children’s legal specialist Sam Carter at her firm Major Family Law, who talks about how to think about the children when separating.

Transcript

Joanne 0:16

Hi there and welcome to the second episode of splitting up dot pod where we delve into the issues that matter when you're facing a divorce or separation. I'm Joanne Major, and I've been a family lawyer in the Northeast of England for many years, and I created the website splitting up.com.

Joanne 0:35

The site is a place where you access what you need to know and who to turn to, should you find yourself in this situation. After years of experience, I realised people needed one place to go for all the relevant information they might need, rather than turning to Google for help.

Joanne 0:54

I’ve just got to say at the outset that as everyone’s situation is different although our podcast is intended to be helpfully informative and thought-provoking it cannot be taken legal advice – for more information on this all important disclaimer please go to the website’s podcast page.

Joanne 1:17

In the first episode we heard from Mandy: Mandy was a client of mine who went through a pretty harrowing experience before she decided enough was enough. Fortunately, we were good friends, and I was able to step in and help. But it was her experience of not knowing where to go for reliable information that partly inspired me to set up the website and this podcast. Today we're going to take a deeper dive into some of the issues Mandy raised about money. In her case, her husband ran the family finance and was a gambler. But we're also going to go on and discuss how divorce affects children like Mandy's daughter. But first, he's a little reminder about Mandy's story and a bit more about her financial situation

Mandy 2:03

I had suicidal thoughts, I'd got up to 22 stone I had put nearly 12 stone on my marriage. I was mentally tortured, financially abused...and they were the darkest days thinking should I leave should I go? Do I stay for financial reasons? Do I stay for my daughter? Do I live in hell for any longer than I needed to?

Mandy 2:27

I found a lot of debt and I thought right I have to leave or I'm going to lose everything: not only going to lose myself, but going to lose my family, my daughter, going to probably lose me because I'm not going to have the strength to probably stay alive

Mandy 2:41

My ex-husband was very difficult because it was financial that I left him for, and there was a lot of hidden money and mind games and credit card statements coming through the door and bounce-back loans and I've never ever seen this kind of money in my life I've never ever seen any debt. We had two good incomes, two good jobs and it was just..it was a real shock.

Mandy 3:10

So for me to try and get back on my feet again and pay bills - I'd never paid a bill for 15 years. I'd never paid rent, food shopping, nothing; my husband did at all. So trying to get to work, make as much money as I could it was it was quite tough.

Mandy 3:28

It was in lockdown I had no income. So I was thinking which way do I turn to? What do I do? Can I afford to stay in the house with the mortgage?

Mandy 3:39

So the first thing I did was check my credit report, which I'd never ever done because I was financially abused at home. My husband took all my wages off me, and you know, paid all the bills - so he was saying he was. So I built myself a credit report. I Googled what to do and how I would know if I could be eligible for a mortgage on my own. And I found out everything that was linked to us and what I could do what I could afford what I couldn't. So I went down the Universal Credit route, and I was allowed to stay in the marital home once the divorce was going on.

Mandy 4:13

And when I left, they were the darkest days - they were horrendous, you know, there were days I didn't want to get out of bed but I had to. And I just kept going and kept on. Nineteen month isn't a long time, but for me, I'm in the best place that I've ever been you know it's the best thing I've ever done. There's there's light at the end of the tunnel. My daughter's in an amazing place, I'm financially better. I've been able to be independent, get my business back on its feet you know, have savings in the bank and you know have a mortgage on my own. You can do it. You really really can do it. If you try. Those days are so much better - you do not need to be in a relationship like that.

Joanne 4:56

Thanks again Mandy for sharing your experience. Dealing with big money worries were perhaps the biggest challenge that Mandy faced, and finances often play a big part in the breakdown of a marriage. So if you've not been running the family finances, it can be confusing and a source of worry and anxiety where to start. So to help us unravel a few of these issues today I'm joined by Fiona Sharp a Verve Financial Planning. Fiona is a specialist independent financial advisor who has a lot of experience dealing with the financial arrangements and issues many clients have to deal with when they're facing separation, or going through divorce for the first time.

Joanne 5:32

Hello, Fiona.

Joanne 5:34

Hi, Jo.

Joanne 5:35

So thanks very much, Fiona, for joining me today, perhaps you could just explain to the listeners today, who you are and sort of your experience as an independent financial adviser.

Fiona Sharp 5:44

Yes, I'm independent, which means I'm not tied to any one company. And I've got over 20 years experience of working within the divorce arena. And I'm accredited as a divorce specialist by resolution, which is the Family Law organisation that I know you're also a member of.

Joanne 6:05

That's right. So you've suddenly got the badges and whistles then, haven't you, Fiona? To say that you know what you're talking about today?

Fiona Sharp 6:10

I hope so, yes.

Joanne 6:13

Okay, so Mandy mentioned earlier that she had concerns when she was facing the separation and divorce, particularly about the family home, which I know also as a divorce lawyer is often the central asset of the family finance. So can you tell us from your experience, Fiona, The things that Mandy and others, perhaps should be doing to help themselves from a financial perspective?

Fiona Sharp 6:34

Yes, sure. Obviously, the home, as you know, is the hub normally of the the financial settlement, and with it comes a lot of emotion. People sometimes want to stay there, or they don't necessarily want to sell. But it's important, I think that anybody who is separating or divorcing gets the right advice. There are generally three options with the home: the most obvious one is is to sell, although that may not necessarily be practical. Potentially, you could sell the house later at a certain point. So perhaps when the children are 18, and are technically off the books, so to speak. Or it might be possible for one party to buy out the other. But it is really important to get the right advice, and to see a qualified mortgage broker to make sure that you don't fall into any bear traps.

Joanne 7:37

I mean, I understand that very much, actually. And it's something that resonates a lot, because when I'm giving initial free consultations, I often say to clients at the outset, exactly the options that you've just set out, Fiona in terms of Can you can you afford to keep it? Do you need to consider a buyout? Will you have to think about re-mortgage? Are we looking at a sale? And I think, going back to what Mandy was saying earlier, one of the concerns that she had was about credit issues because of the gambling and debt she didn't even know about. And I suppose, because of the various financial issues you had that can impact on a mortgage can't it, and certainly the lenders criteria?

Fiona Sharp 8:12

Yes, and so it's really important to get your ducks in a row before you apply for any mortgage or any other borrowing. So the first thing that I normally advise clients to do is to check their credit history via Experian. Experian will give you a 30 day free trial, but it's very important to cancel if you don't want to continue it, because it does cost money. But for 30 days, you can get as much information out of their system as is possible. And you can see if there's anything on there that a lender might find discriminatory. So even if you've moved house, it's important to remain on the electoral roll, because that will show up well on your credit score. And if you have got debt, then make sure that you keep up any regular payments, even if it's just the minimum for the time being. Because lenders will always look at how you have managed your debt in the past. It might take you a little while to, as I say get your ducks in a row, but if you go and see a good mortgage brokers that you feel comfortable talking to, they can point you in the right direction as to watch you need to do to maybe extricate yourself from those gambling debts. If they're not yours, Experian may be able to remove them from your own credit history. So it's important that your record is as clean as it possibly can be before you apply for any extra borrowing.

Joanne:

Oh, that's really helpful Fiona and actually the splitting up.com website. There's a section on there called links, and they're useful links really for anybody to access, free of charge of course, and Experian and the electoral roll links are actually listed under those links. One of the things that sort of struck me following on from what Mandy was saying earlier was that because she had poor income as a consequence of COVID, and she had poor credit, she was also in receipt of Universal Credit. And I think one of one of the things I often advise clients is that even though you are in receipt of Universal Credit or different benefits, and this applies, I suppose, in many cases to women, is that that also can be considered as income, and some lenders will actually take that into account. And perhaps you could just talk us through that Fiona, because I think sometimes people may misunderstand what sources of income lenders want to take into account when thinking about somebody's mortgage and borrowing capacity.

Fiona Sharp:

Yeah, sure. And, of course, every lender is different, and some are more sympathetic to separating and divorcing clients than others, and again, that goes back to getting the right advice from a good mortgage broker. But if you're thinking that, oh, well, you know, my income from my employment or from my self employment is quite low, you might find that your mortgage capacity can be bolstered by secondary income. And secondary income could be, for example, child support payments. Universal Credit, as you said, fostering allowances.

Joanne:

But I suppose also income from other properties, because lots of clients also have by to let's and investment properties, and I suppose that's also income that could be taken into account is it?

Fiona Sharp:

Well, possibly: it depends on how much is going out in terms of expenditure. So it's also really important to prepare a good budget for a lender and make sure that your expenditure matches your bank statements. Because all lenders now lend on affordability as opposed to multiples of income. So although you might feel that you can afford your monthly mortgage payments, the lenders calculator may say otherwise. So there are various sorts of pitfalls to be aware of, but again, if you get the right advice, somebody should help you prepare and package up your application in the best possible way, so that you have the most chance of success.

Joanne:

Well, that's really helpful. And I think really what... I'm taking from this is, I suppose the sooner that you start making those inquiries, the better because really wide why wait until you're halfway through a process of divorce? It's something you can do at the very outset, isn't it?

Fiona Sharp:

Yes, you can certainly start to make inquiries. It might be like with Mandy, for example, there are things on her credit history that need resolution. However, you know, that gives you time so that you're not at the last minute trying to scramble around trying to work out whether somebody will lend you the relevant amount. And it helps everybody to manage all the expectations of all parties.

Joanne:

Yep. Really, really helpful. Well, thanks very much Fiona. I appreciate today that we've pretty much just focused on the area about lending and borrowing connected to properties, and especially the family home, but as I said at the outset, that is, of course, one of the main concerns that clients often have, certainly when they're having a consultation with a divorce lawyer for the first time. So I know one of your other main specialist areas, of course, is pensions and divorce. But we obviously don't have time to deal with that today. But if it's okay with you, Fiona, would you be happy to join us again at a later discussion to talk about this area that particularly excites you?

Fiona Sharp:

Of course, I would Jo, of course I would.

Joanne:

Well, that's great. Well, thank you very much, Fiona. That's fantastic.

Fiona Sharp:

Thanks Jo, I'll speak to you soon.

Joanne:

So that's Fiona Sharp from Verve Financial Planning.

Joanne:

So we've talked about Mandy's separation from her perspective and what it means for her, but what about her daughter? I'm pleased to introduce one of our children law specialists at Major Family Law, Sam Carter. He's now a senior associate for the firm, and he specialises in children law cases.

Sam Carter:

Yes, Joanne, that's correct.

Joanne:

So what sort of initial advice would you give to Mandy in respect of the arrangements for her daughter following the breakdown of her relationship and the subsequent divorce proceedings?

Sam Carter:

Well, I think first thing Joanne to say is that separation can be equally difficult for for children as it is for the adults going through it, and I find from experience it can be especially difficult for older children. So although those who are separating, like Mandy, need to think about the consequences for them of the separation, and the way forward, it's a good idea as well to also consider the child or children involved. From experience. I would say Joanne, that most parents ultimately manage to come to an agreement on the arrangements for their children following separation. And some do this directly with each other, but in cases like Mandy's, where there are difficulties and perhaps a power imbalance between the parents, it can be a sensible idea to get good legal advice and representation and proceed to instruct solicitors to negotiate these issues on the parents behalf.

Joanne:

Do you think the reason for that, Sam, is just sometimes by instructing a solicitor it's a sort of third party, so it sometimes diffuses some of the tension rather than having to deal with the conflict directly between the parents?

Sam Carter:

Perhaps Yes, I sometimes have clients who instruct me on the back burner, if you will. And their ex is not aware of my involvement. And the parents are able to have that discussion themselves and client comes to me really for some help and advice around that. But you are right, in some cases it's just not appropriate in the aftermath of a volatile separation, it can be a sensible idea to have that trusted third party on board.

Joanne:

I know from experience, even though I'm not a specialist, children's lawyer, but I know that sometimes sadly, it doesn't always work out. And people can't always resolve the problems between themselves or even in the way that you're describing by helping someone behind the scenes. Those are the cases where maybe they're just parties, parents just simply can't agree. And what would they expect if the court were asked to make decisions on arrangements in respect of children?

Sam Carter:

Of course, yes, unfortunately, we do have those cases where we try our best through solicitors discussions, both on and off the record to move things forward, and we also have cases where we've exhausted other types of dispute resolution, such as mediation, where if if it's agreed, parents would sit down with an independent mediator, who helps them to, to come to an agreement, and in some cases, the mediator will invite the child as well, to join, so that their voices heard But as you say, Joanne, in some cases, we do have to go to that last resort of courts.

Joanne:

That's really interesting, Sam, about the mediation sometimes involving the children. I guess that must be children of a certain age, though, is it?

Sam Carter:

Yes, it is. And not all mediators are qualified and experienced to provide that level of service, because for obvious reasons, there are different skill sets. For what you'd say normal mediation service where they mediate with the adults directly. It's generally if children are to be involved it's generally older children. There's no limit as such, but from experience, I would say 13+. Normally, the child's voice will be communicated to the court through an independent social worker from CAFCAS..

Joanne:

Can you tell us a little bit then about the role of CAFCASS and what CAFCASS is I know, it's a sort of a central independent body dealing with children's matters...

Unknown Speaker:

CAFCASS stands for children, and family court support and advisory service. They are trained social workers, they are described as the eyes and the ears of the family courts. They are trained social workers who don't work for social services, but work for the court system. So they are independent, and it's their job to speak with the parents, in some cases, speak with the child, as well as schools to provide the judge information in respect of the situation on the ground. They play a very important role. But what I do think is important to stress, Joanne, is that if a case gets to court, it will have to go through a process of safeguarding checking just to ensure that there's no risk presented to the child. So every case that goes to the courts, CAFCASS are involved at the start, but that in most cases, `CAFCASS will not consider it necessary to remain involved. Like all public bodies, they have a finite budget, and they prioritise what they would see as the more complex cases.

Joanne:

And that's really interesting. And it's interesting to hear from you, Sam, that you say the majority of matters that you're dealing with that go to court aren't involving CAFCASS. Can you kind of just give the listeners an example of what sort of disputes or issues that are going to court that don't involve CAFCASS, then?

Sam Carter:

The majorityof cases will go through the safeguard and check process and CAFCASS will conclude that there's no need for further investigation given there's no safeguarding issue and therefore, the way that CAFCASS would see it as a private dispute between two parents, which a judge can determine from hearing from the parents only. So this can be the obvious Joanne, so where a child lives the contact or spend time with is the new parlance so of the other parent what what those arrangements should be. We also have disputes in respect of more specific issues such as, should my child have the COVID-19 vaccination, which is a topical one?

Joanne:

I can imagine that was something that you were probably inundated with work about that one, weren't you?

Sam Carter:

Yes, yes. I feel like I'm nearly a expert on polio vaccinations now, but we also have other disputes. Things such as holidays, taking child abroad, if there's no agreement, ultimately, a judge needs to make the decision. And you've got on the one hand, asking for permission to do something, whereas on the other hand, you may be asking the court to make an order stopping something - so prohibiting one parent doing a particular thing with a child. So this could be as taking child outside of jurisdiction, moving the child to a different area of the country, or moving the child's school, for example.

Sam Carter:

Thank you very much indeed, for your time today, Sam, Thank you.

Joanne:

That's Sam Carter, children's legal specialist at my own law firm, Major Family Law. We look forward to speaking to you again in future episodes, Sam, on some of the other issues surrounding the impact of separations and divorce on the children of the family.

Joanne:

If you'd like to get in touch with Sam or our financial expert, Fiona, please head over to splitting up.com where you'll find a load of free information and contacts for them, and for lists of other experts in various fields. Every divorce or separation is different, and it's often difficult. And so the website will guide you to the right person to help you through the other side, just like it did with Mandy.

Joanne:

If you have a situation you'd like to talk about on this podcast, or an experience you've already been through that you'd like to share, please do drop us a line through the website, so your story can perhaps help other people going through a similar thing. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of splitting up dot pod. Thanks to Mandy and to our guests. And if you found this helpful, please do share it and sign up for the series wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Joanne Major, and I'll see you next time.

FAQs

We guide you through the basics of family law by answering some popular questions regarding divorce, financial issues and children disputes.

Talk to an expert

Am I entitled to child maintenance?

Child maintenance is determined based on the paying parent’s gross income, the number of nights your children stay with them per week and whether the…

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Child maintenance is determined based on the paying parent’s gross income, the number of nights your children stay with them per week and whether the paying parent has to pay maintenance for any children they have with someone else.

Child maintenance will not be payable if:

  1. you share care equally with your child’s other parent;
  2. your child’s other parent is a full time student with no income;
  3. your child’s other parent is in prison.

Are children’s wishes and feelings taken into account?

They can be if they are deemed ascertainable which will depend on the age, level of understanding and level of maturity of your children. Even…

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They can be if they are deemed ascertainable which will depend on the age, level of understanding and level of maturity of your children. Even if taken into account, children’s wishes and feelings are by no means determinative, as the court realises that children often (a) don’t know what they want, (b) don’t know what is best for them and (c) sometimes say say different things to different people.

Are my rights dependent on my reasons for divorce?

No. There is now no need to cite any reasons for wanting a divorce as you simply need to declare that the marriage has broken…

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No. There is now no need to cite any reasons for wanting a divorce as you simply need to declare that the marriage has broken down irretrievably.

Are there any alternatives to divorce?

If divorce is not an option for you maybe because of, say, religious beliefs, it is possible to obtain an order for judicial separation or…

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If divorce is not an option for you maybe because of, say, religious beliefs, it is possible to obtain an order for judicial separation or a nullity order without having to prove that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. For specialist advice on the process and the effects of nullity and judicial separation speak to a specialist divorce and family lawyer.

Remember an alternative to divorce is also not splitting up. You could stay together and try to work on your issues. Speak to a relationship counsellor in confidence.

Can I change the locks? Can my partner force entry?

Can I change the locks? Technically, yes. Can my partner force entry? Technically, yes. Something to be aware of is that, if you and your…

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Can I change the locks? Technically, yes. Can my partner force entry? Technically, yes. Something to be aware of is that, if you and your husband or wife own the family home in joint names, they are not committing any crime by gaining entry to the family home. If you can no longer tolerate living with each other, it’s much better for you to agree temporary living arrangements that do not cause hostility.

If you don’t own the property jointly but you have registered a ‘homes right’ against a property you live in which is owned by your spouse, then the same response applied. You can change the locks, and the owning spouse can also gain entry to the property.

Can I choose my own solicitor or lawyer at a family law firm?

Sometimes. This will largely depend on the firm’s caseload and internal structure. Family lawyers usually co-work cases in small teams. A solicitor may handle your…

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Sometimes. This will largely depend on the firm’s caseload and internal structure. Family lawyers usually co-work cases in small teams. A solicitor may handle your matter on a day-to-day basis together with assistants, support staff and oversight from a partner or director. You would pay a blended rate for the time each fee earner’s spends progressing your case. If your matter is not particularly complex then there may be no need for you to pay the rates of a partner or director. If you are undergoing and international divorce or have complex financial affairs you may need to speak to someone with more experience which will naturally come at a greater cost to you. If you are offered a solicitor who is cheaper than your solicitor of choice, then it’s always worth considering it as you’ll save money and likely still have some input from your solicitor of choice. Family law teams chat with each other regularly.

Can I move abroad with my children?

You can relocate abroad which is also known as removing your child from the jurisdiction if all other people with parental responsibility for the children…

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You can relocate abroad which is also known as removing your child from the jurisdiction if all other people with parental responsibility for the children (usually the other parent) agree. This is unlikely and so most parents wishing to move abroad with their children are forced to make an application to the court. These applications are not straightforward. They can be costly both from a financial and emotional perspective and involve the court undertaking a finely balance assessment of whether a move would be in a child’s best interests. Parents wishing to move abroad must do their research before suggesting this to the other parent or to the court. Where exactly will you live? What will you do for employment? Who will pay for your living costs? Who will serve as your support system in the foreign country? What school will your child go to? How will you ensure that your children do no lose touch with their mother or father and that contact is sustained between them? Swathes of evidence will be required from the parent seeking to move. These are complicated applications that will usually require you to seek legal advice from a specialist family lawyer.

Can I move to another location within the UK with my children?

You can relocate within the UK if all other people with parental responsibility for the children (usually the other parent) agree. Again, as with moving…

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You can relocate within the UK if all other people with parental responsibility for the children (usually the other parent) agree. Again, as with moving abroad, if they don’t then you will need to make an application to court. As with all applications made regarding children, the court will consider what is in the children’s best interests. Detailed evidence will be required from the parent seeking to relocate. These are complicated applications that will usually require you to seek legal advice from a specialist family lawyer.

Can I remarry after my divorce?

Yes. Once you the final order of divorce has been issued, your marriage is terminated and you can remarry. Do pay attention to any financial…

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Yes. Once you the final order of divorce has been issued, your marriage is terminated and you can remarry. Do pay attention to any financial order you have agreed with your husband or wife / any financial orders that a court has made, as certain types of financial provision may come to an end on your remarriage. It may be a good idea to seek advice from a solicitor before you remarry to ensure that you understand what financial obligations from your former spouse will terminate as a result.

Can I take my children on holiday after separation?

Yes if: (a) your children’s other parent agrees; or (b) a child arrangements order specifying that your children are to live with you is in…

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Yes if:

(a) your children’s other parent agrees; or

(b) a child arrangements order specifying that your children are to live with you is in place. If it is, then you can take your children on holiday abroad for a period of 4 weeks or less. You could take your child abroad for longer if the other parent agrees; or

(c) where you do not have a child arrangements order specifying that your children live with you and where the children’s other parent does not agree, if you seek permission from the court (leave to remove a child from the jurisdiction).

Under the Child Abduction Act 1984, it is a criminal offence for parents to take their children out of the UK without consent from all other people with parental responsibility.

Can I take or make copies of my husband or wife’s private documents?

No. There is no right to self-help under family law in England & Wales. If you take a document belonging to your husband or wife…

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No. There is no right to self-help under family law in England & Wales. If you take a document belonging to your husband or wife spouse without their knowledge or consent, this is known as “self-help”. The court does not condone self-help to a spouse’s confidential information even where it is feared that a spouse will not provide full and frank disclosure.

Self-help takes place when a person without consent, obtains information or documentation that the other person did not give them access to. Confidential communications concerned with your spouse’s private life, including their personal finances and business dealings, are likely to be confidential. This could be if you read your spouse’s diary, open their letters or intercept their emails.

It follows that it is illegal for a party to examine, make, retain, or supply copies of confidential documentation to their solicitor where the contents of such documentation are considered to be confidential to their spouse.

If your spouse has always permitted you to look at their private communications during the relationship, you should expect this to change when your relationship breaks down. As such, you shouldn’t look at any private communications after the relationship has broken down without express permission to do so.

Can I talk to someone about divorce and what it means?

Yes, you can either search for your own solicitor or speak to one of the highly regarded specialist family lawyers that we would recommend.

Can we go for counselling during our divorce?

Yes of course. Your divorce isn’t final until the final order is issued and no one can blame you for wanting to be sure that…

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Yes of course. Your divorce isn’t final until the final order is issued and no one can blame you for wanting to be sure that you’re doing the right thing. Relate is an organisation offering relationship counselling for a whole host of issues. They have centres across the UK and a network of licensed local counsellors as well as phone, email and live chat counselling.

Can we share care of our children after our split?

Absolutely. You can agree this between yourselves or through solicitors. Shared care can never be exactly half of the year but it can come close.…

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Absolutely. You can agree this between yourselves or through solicitors. Shared care can never be exactly half of the year but it can come close. Do remember to consider who children will spend important days with. Will you alternative Christmases? Who will they spend time with on their own birthdays? Will they stay with their mother on mother’s day and father on father’s day? There are still a lot of considerations to think about. It’s important to be flexible but shared care can create a well balanced routine for all involved.

Do I get maintenance during and after my divorce? Do I have to pay maintenance for my spouse during and after divorce?

It depends. There are two broad types of maintenance: (a) child maintenance and (b) spousal maintenance. We’ll talk about spousal maintenance here. Have a look…

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It depends. There are two broad types of maintenance: (a) child maintenance and (b) spousal maintenance. We’ll talk about spousal maintenance here. Have a look out our children section for information on child maintenance which can be payable by the Child Maintenance Service or by Court Order, or in some cases both.

Spousal maintenance is an income order which requires one of you to make periodical payments to the other either for a fixed-term, until a defined date or, less commonly, for the rest of your lives. Spousal maintenance would be awarded where one of you is unable to support yourself i.e. your reasonable outgoings exceed your income and the other person is able to meet that need out of their income.

This sort of financial support can be reviewed if the recipient’s or payer’s circumstances change. Court’s can adjust the term for which maintenance is paid and the amount of maintenance paid.

Do I have to disclose all of my assets during a divorce?

Yes. Without doing so, neither your solicitors nor the courts will be able to assess fair settlement terms. You and your spouse have a duty…

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Yes. Without doing so, neither your solicitors nor the courts will be able to assess fair settlement terms. You and your spouse have a duty to disclose all of your assets in a manner that is full, frank and transparent. Your duty of full and frank disclosure is a duty owed to the court. You and your husband or wife will regularly be asked to sign statements of truth i.e. statements whereby you are telling your solicitors, your spouse and the court that all of the information you have included in a document or statement is true. Even if a financial remedy order isn’t imposed on you and you and your spouse agree settlement terms amicably, you will still have to complete a Statement of Information in which you are asked to confirm the full extent of your income and capital resources. You must sign this to prove that you have disclosed a full picture of your financial position. There are severe consequences for a person whose disclosure is found to be false:

  1. a financial order may be set aside;
  2. proceedings maybe be brought against you for contempt of court, which could lead to a term of imprisonment or to a fine;
  3. you may be penalised on costs meaning that you would be ordered to pay some of your husband or wife’s legal costs for financial matters;
  4. if you are deliberately untruthful in your disclosure, criminal proceedings may be brought against you under the Fraud Act 2006.

Do I need a solicitor or lawyer to get divorced? Can I conduct divorce proceedings myself?

It’s totally your choice based on your budget but there are obvious advantages of being represented by a specialist family law solicitor or lawyer. If…

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It’s totally your choice based on your budget but there are obvious advantages of being represented by a specialist family law solicitor or lawyer. If you and your spouse both agree that your marriage has irretrievably broken down, then you may feel confident enough to conduct divorce proceedings yourself using the government website. We would always advise speaking to a solicitor, at least in the first instance.

Do we have to sell the house?

Maybe. It will depend entirely on your circumstances and whether there would be enough money to meet both of your needs if you didn’t sell.…

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Maybe. It will depend entirely on your circumstances and whether there would be enough money to meet both of your needs if you didn’t sell.

Sometimes a couple live in a property that is much bigger than they really need. When they split up the court may want the house to be sold so that each can afford to live in a smaller property. This is very fact dependant, and it is a good idea to factor in the costs of buying and selling to see whether this is an affordable option.

How can we reach an amicable financial settlement?

Honesty and compromise. Often the fairest financial settlements don’t leave either party feeling particularly over the moon. Listen to the experts. If you don’t want…

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Honesty and compromise. Often the fairest financial settlements don’t leave either party feeling particularly over the moon. Listen to the experts. If you don’t want to follow their advice and simply want to agree “x” with your spouse, then you can still do so, the solicitor may just ask you to sign a disclaimer to acknowledge that they have advised you that what you are accepting might not be in your best interests. You may have considered the pros and cons and decided to cut your losses to make things go away. That’s your prerogative, but it’s much easier to be confident of your decision after speaking with a specialist family lawyer.

How do I find the best divorce lawyers in my area?

Usually, it’s best to do your own research through word of mouth, reviews and actually meeting your solicitor to see if it is the right…

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Usually, it’s best to do your own research through word of mouth, reviews and actually meeting your solicitor to see if it is the right fit. There are several good solicitors out there, but not every solicitor is for every client and vice versa. If you want to speak to one of the divorce solicitors that we deal with then you can free of charge using a free initial consultation.

How do I know if there are any assets to split during a divorce?

Do some digging. A good starting place is the court document known as the Form E (Financial Statement). The Form E asks you for various…

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Do some digging. A good starting place is the court document known as the Form E (Financial Statement). The Form E asks you for various pieces of information with documentary evidence in support. It will alert you to the information needed, for example, equity in any properties in your name, savings and pensions. Look through your bank statements as a reminder of your capital, liabilities, income and outgoings.

Even if you don’t have many or any assets to split at present, it is important to still seek to resolve financial matters by way of a clean break order. This prevents you having to look over your shoulder in case your former spouse seeks a financial order from you further down the line if you acquire assets after your marriage. Divorce in and of itself does not dismiss your ex’s financial claims until a final financial remedy order is made.

How do I start divorce proceedings? How do I apply for a divorce?

Divorce proceedings are commenced by completing a divorce application. You should be able to start divorce proceedings online: https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-divorce. The court charges a mandatory fee…

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Divorce proceedings are commenced by completing a divorce application. You should be able to start divorce proceedings online: https://www.gov.uk/apply-for-divorce. The court charges a mandatory fee of £593 for processing your divorce application regardless of whether you do it yourself or go through a solicitor. The court fee changes from time to time. If you are in difficult financial circumstances the court may allow you to reduce your fee, you should look at the ‘Help with fees’ application on the government website.

How do I stop my husband or wife getting anything in the divorce?

You can’t really. The court will be looking to achieve a fair outcome when it comes to splitting your assets. Even if your husband or…

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You can’t really. The court will be looking to achieve a fair outcome when it comes to splitting your assets. Even if your husband or wife agrees to take nothing or a limited amount after your split, you still need to inform the court of your asset base, income and the specific terms of your agreement. The court will not rubber stamp an agreement that is patently unfair.

The best option to minimise claims after a marriage or civil partnership is to enter into the terms of a pre-nuptial agreement. This won’t be endorsed by the court if the terms of the agreement are unfair, but it will prevent your spouse from taking a bigger share of your assets and income than they need.

How do I work out how much child maintenance I have to pay?

You can check this using the Child Maintenance Service calculator. Before you go onto the calculator, you’ll need the following details: your income including any…

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You can check this using the Child Maintenance Service calculator. Before you go onto the calculator, you’ll need the following details:

  • your income including any state pension;
  • any benefits you get;
  • the number of nights your child stay with you.

How do we deal with the children’s feelings during a separation?

Divorce or family breakdown can be very distressing for parents and children alike. Children need reassurance. They may be angry, confused and worried but it…

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Divorce or family breakdown can be very distressing for parents and children alike. Children need reassurance. They may be angry, confused and worried but it is important to stay calm when talking to them about your split. Focus on the positives and on the future. Give them things to look forward to. Remember the golden rules: never disparage their other parent(s) in front of them and don’t seek to use them as weapons during your separation or divorce.

Ultimately, you are no doubt going through an extremely tough time yourself, so do consider whether you could benefit from some external help. Your children could benefit from children and young people’s counselling.

How do we tell the children that we are splitting up?

Preferably, together. It can be a moment that you’ve dreaded for a long time but, if possible, it is useful to take one final united…

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Preferably, together. It can be a moment that you’ve dreaded for a long time but, if possible, it is useful to take one final united stance and tell your children your separating together. We realise that sometimes that just isn’t possible but you could also try to agree what you will say to the children, even if you’re saying to them separately.

Regardless, you will know your children better than anyone else, so strike an appropriate balance based on their age(s) and level of development but avoid overloading them with information they don’t need to know. Reassure and comfort them, letting them know that you’ll both always be there to support them.

How does child custody work?

The first thing to note is that the term “custody” doesn’t exist in England & Wales, it is more an American concept. We refer to…

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The first thing to note is that the term “custody” doesn’t exist in England & Wales, it is more an American concept. We refer to ‘Child Arrangements’, this refers to where a child lives and how often they see the other parent

A child’s welfare is paramount and, whilst the courts would much rather you as parents agree on any decisions regarding arrangements for your child’s care, any decision the court is forced to make about where a child will live and who they spend time with will be determined based on whatever is in the child or children’s best interests. What is in the best interests of children in one family may not be in the best interests of children of another family. There is no one size fits all.

How does the divorce process work? What are the stages of the divorce process?

For an application where one spouse filed the divorce application it is as follows. Divorce application is served on (sent to) your husband or wife,…

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For an application where one spouse filed the divorce application it is as follows.

  • Divorce application is served on (sent to) your husband or wife, (the Respondent);
  • Respondent completes and sends to the court an Acknowledgement of Service form;
  • 20 weeks after the date the divorce application was issued the applicant applies to the court for a conditional order of divorce (formerly known as the decree nisi). This states that, based on the information and documentation that the court has seen to date, the court is willing to grant the applicant a divorce in due course.
  • The conditional order is made by the court;
  • Six weeks and one day after the conditional order is made, the applicant may apply to the court for the final order terminating their marriage (formerly known as the decree absolute).
  • The final order of divorce is made and the marriage terminated. This essentially replaces your marriage certificate and acts as formal proof that your marriage is dissolved.

The process is slightly different if you and your spouse agree to file a joint application for divorce. Although the conditional order and final order stages are the same, the court doesn’t require the second applicant to complete an acknowledgement of service form. Instead, the second respondent needs to confirm that they have received the notice sent by the court.

If you are sorting out finances with your spouse alongside the divorce (which is recommended), solicitors may advise that you do not apply for a final order until a final financial order is agreed. This is because divorce terminates marriage and means that, if your spouse were to die before a financial order was made but after you had terminated your marriage, you would no longer be entitled to all of the benefits that you otherwise would be as their existing spouse.

How long does a divorce take?

How long is a piece of string? Honestly, it really does depend on a number of factors: Do you have your original marriage certificate? How…

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How long is a piece of string? Honestly, it really does depend on a number of factors:

  • Do you have your original marriage certificate?
  • How difficult is your husband or wife?
  • Do you intend to file a joint application with your spouse?
  • How organised are you? How organised is your husband or wife?
  • How busy is your solicitor or your spouse’s solicitor?
  • How many people are currently getting divorce in England & Wales and how quickly are the courts able to process all of those applications.
  • Will you wait until your finances are resolved by way of a formal financial order from the court (which can also be based on an agreement with your spouse – a consent order) before applying for a final order (formerly known as a Decree Absolute)?

If we are calling a spade a spade and being realistic, it can take an average of 18 months!

How much child maintenance am I entitled to?

You can check this very easily using the Child Maintenance Service calculator. Before you go onto the calculator, you’ll need the following details for your…

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You can check this very easily using the Child Maintenance Service calculator. Before you go onto the calculator, you’ll need the following details for your child’s other mother or father:

  • their income including any state pension;
  • any benefits they get;
  • the number of nights your child stays with them.

How much does a divorce cost?

How long is a piece of string? If your divorce is very straightforward and you and your husband or wife agree on everything, then you…

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How long is a piece of string? If your divorce is very straightforward and you and your husband or wife agree on everything, then you may be able to represent yourself in divorce proceedings. If this is the case, then you may only need to pay the court fee of £550. If your spouse instructs a solicitor, you may wish to do the same to ensure that you have what we call equality of arms – the opportunity to be represented to the same degree as your husband or wife. Costs do go up if instructing a solicitor but sometimes it is a price worth paying. Only you can decide.

Are there any fixed price or fixed-fee options? Some solicitors do offer fixed price (fixed-fee) packages for divorce because it can be a straightforward process. You can always speak to a specialist divorce and family lawyer offering a free initial consultation and fixed-fee divorce package to find out more.

How much will it cost to split our assets during a divorce?

Positive communication and negotiation between separating parties is important where possible. The more agreement and cooperation there is, the more straightforward and less expensive the…

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Positive communication and negotiation between separating parties is important where possible. The more agreement and cooperation there is, the more straightforward and less expensive the process will be.

Are there any fixed price or fixed-fee options? Every law firm adopts a different pricing structures, so speak to a solicitor to find out more about the options they offer.

How often do I have to let my ex see the children?

Wrong question. Better question: what is in the best interests of my children? Remember, ultimately, if your ex has parental responsibility over your child, poses…

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Wrong question. Better question: what is in the best interests of my children? Remember, ultimately, if your ex has parental responsibility over your child, poses no risk of harm to them and has demonstrated themselves as a capable parent, it will usually be deemed in the children’s best interests to spend time with them. How often can be a tricky thing to determine in the absence of agreement so you may wish to get advice on your specific circumstances.

How soon can I get a divorce or dissolve a civil partnership?

To get a divorce or get a dissolution in England or Wales, you have to have been married or in a civil partnership for one…

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To get a divorce or get a dissolution in England or Wales, you have to have been married or in a civil partnership for one year or more.

How soon is too soon to remarry?

This is up to you but pay attention to any financial orders between you and your former spouse. Certain types of financial provision, for example…

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This is up to you but pay attention to any financial orders between you and your former spouse. Certain types of financial provision, for example spousal maintenance, will come to an end on your remarriage.

How will my finances be split after divorce?

“Fairly”. If you are married or in a Civil Partnership then you and your spouse have legal rights, duties and responsibilities in respect of one…

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“Fairly”.

If you are married or in a Civil Partnership then you and your spouse have legal rights, duties and responsibilities in respect of one another. The process that determines the way in which your property and other financial assets are divided is known as financial remedy. It is a separate process to that of divorce.

Although you won’t always have to go to court and a lot of cases settle outside of a court environment, it’s important to reference what a court would do because ultimately, if you can’t agree, that’s where you’re both headed. A court would aim to achieve a fair split of the assets. Fairness in light of all of the circumstances of the case giving first consideration to the welfare of any children.

How will my pension(s) be split or affected after divorce?

Pensions are a complex area of family law. Pensions are tax efficient investment vehicles designed to produce income and maybe some capital, during your retirement.…

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Pensions are a complex area of family law. Pensions are tax efficient investment vehicles designed to produce income and maybe some capital, during your retirement. Sometimes, the valuations you are given in respect of your pension are poor reflections of the benefits that your pensions scheme will actually provide you. Pensions can be the biggest asset after the family home. It’s therefore very important that you and your spouse seek independent financial advice from a specialist pension on divorce expert who is experienced in this area to give you advice.

Broadly speaking there are a few ways in which the court would deal with your pension(s):

  1. Pension sharing – a way for one of you to share a percentage of your pension with your former spouse, this order can’t be varied if circumstances change at a later date;
  2. Pensions offsetting – a way to offset the value of the pension against other assets. It’s important to note that £1 in a pension fund is not with £1 in cash (savings or property). There is no widely accepted way of calculating what would a fair sum to take instead of sharing in your husband of wife’s pension would be;
  3. Pension attachment (rare) – another way of taking an interest in your spouse’s pension. Pension attachment means that you would become entitled to a proportion of your former spouse’s pension income or capital without having any influence over when and how they take their pension benefits. It also means that there would be no clean break between you and your husband. Most people find that pension attachment offers little certainty as the order can be varied if circumstances change.

I’m unhappy in my marriage, what do I do?

If you’re unsure whether the finality of divorce is really what you want or if you need help to come to terms with your separation…

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If you’re unsure whether the finality of divorce is really what you want or if you need help to come to terms with your separation and the end of your marriage, we recommend you first speak in confidence with a relationship counsellor who can work with you to help you to deal with what has happened and how to move on. If you have children, a relationship counsellor can help you to support your children with what is happening. Relate are an organisation that have experience in counselling people from different backgrounds, including LGBT individuals and couples, so they can be a good place to start when looking for relationship counselling.

If you are experiencing a relationship breakdown, you will probably have a lot of questions about the legal process of divorce, alternatives to divorce, information surrounding making arrangements for your children and splitting your finances.

Whilst the divorce process itself is administrative, the issues surrounding splitting up and ending your marriage are often more complex and need to be dealt with sympathetically, fairly, and efficiently. Getting advice or reviewing our guides early is crucial in helping you know what to expect so you can plan for the journey.

Is a consent order legally binding?

Yes, provided the order has been approved by a court. If this is the case, you will be provided with a formal court order stating…

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Yes, provided the order has been approved by a court. If this is the case, you will be provided with a formal court order stating your case number, your name, your husband or wife full name and the name of the court it was approved by. This could be, for example, the Family Court at Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

Is any support available for me whilst I find somewhere else to live?

You and your husband or wife could always agree that if one of you moves out, you share the costs of your mortgage and any…

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You and your husband or wife could always agree that if one of you moves out, you share the costs of your mortgage and any rental. If you can live with friends or family, that could be an option for savings costs. If you have relied on your spouse for financial support during your marriage and you suddenly find yourself unable to meet yours and your children’s essential interim needs, then you may be able to ask for maintenance pending suit (“MPS”). If you are in a predicament of real need and your spouse can afford to meet the shortfall between your income and reasonable outgoings, then your spouse may be ordered to pay maintenance pending suit until the overall financial matters are resolved.

You will only be able to apply for MPS either when or after a divorce application is filed at court.

MPS is known as an order pending the outcome of proceedings in a Civil Partnership context.

Should we have an Agreement?

Being practical, the answer to that question is very often a firm YES! Answers to problems can be found elsewhere, but if there is a…

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Being practical, the answer to that question is very often a firm YES!

Answers to problems can be found elsewhere, but if there is a Living Together Agreement, properly considered, well-drafted and comprehensively dealing with all the aspects that the couple care about, then there is more certainty and less worry about ‘What if…?’

If people plan to marry, then they can make their agreement a Pre-Nuptial (‘before marriage’) one and if money is being introduced into their lives from relatives, especially as loans, then the financial interests of the third party can be agreed in such an agreement, avoiding arguments about liability for repayment, terms of loan or gift and particularly avoiding them needing to participate in any dispute later on.

We married abroad, can I still get a divorce in England & Wales?

The answer to this question is fact-specific and can be far from straightforward. The default position is that, if you usually live in England and…

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The answer to this question is fact-specific and can be far from straightforward. The default position is that, if you usually live in England and Wales or you consider yourself to be domiciled in England and Wales, and your overseas marriage is valid in England and Wales, you should be able to divorce in England & Wales.

You can prove validity of marriage by producing a marriage certificate issued by the relevant authority in accordance with the marriage registration laws of the country in which you married.

This can be a complicated area of law, so we suggest that you speak to a specialist divorce and family lawyer.

We never married and now my ex wants half the house, what do I do?

Before we split up, we bought a house and we entered into a declaration of trust dealing with the ownership of the house. We never…

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Before we split up, we bought a house and we entered into a declaration of trust dealing with the ownership of the house. We never married and now my ex wants half the house. We agreed that they were only entitled to 30% of it and that is what the declaration of trust says. What now?

Firstly, you should pat yourself on the back for being sensible. A declaration of trust is one of the ways you can protect yourself when in a cohabiting relationship. The Declaration of Trust is a legally binding document which sets out the ownership of the property you bought together. The terms of that agreement should be followed, this means your ex should be entitled to 30%. If they want more they would need to go to court and apply (with a very good reason!) for more than 30%. It is very rare for the court to give someone more money than the declaration of trust says so this would only be successful in 1 case in a 1000.

If you cohabit with anyone else again, it might be a good idea to enter into a cohabitation agreement. This sets out the financial arrangements clearly so that if the relationship breaks down, you both know where you stand financially.

We’re married, who gets the family home?

If you are married, then you and your husband or wife have legal rights, duties and responsibilities in respect of one another. People’s main concern…

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If you are married, then you and your husband or wife have legal rights, duties and responsibilities in respect of one another. People’s main concern when getting divorced is how they will cope financially and how the assets and debts of the relationship will be dealt with. The process that determines the way in which your property and other financial assets are divided is known as financial remedy. It is a separate process to that of divorce.

Although you won’t always have to go to court and a lot of cases settle outside of a court environment, it’s important to reference what a court would do because ultimately, if you can’t agree, that’s where you’re both headed. A court would aim to achieve a fair split of the assets. Fairness in light of all of the circumstances of the case giving first consideration to the welfare of any children. In deciding what is fair the court will consider:

  1. yours and your spouse’s resources – property, capital, income, earning capacity;
  2. yours and your spouse’s needs, obligations and responsibilities;
  3. your marital standard of living;
  4. yours and your spouse’s respective ages;
  5. how long you were married for;
  6. any physical or mental disabilities;
  7. yours and your spouse’s contributions to the welfare of the family;
  8. yours and your spouse’s conduct (not ordinary bad behaviour).

There’s no set formula for how to assess fairness.

We’re not married, what are my rights when splitting up?

People live together as couples without anything formal in place for various reasons, this is called cohabitation. Without any legal relationship such as a marriage…

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People live together as couples without anything formal in place for various reasons, this is called cohabitation. Without any legal relationship such as a marriage or civil-partnership in place, either of you are free to stay or go without having to go through any formal process. Unmarried couples often need to make arrangements regarding living situation, childcare and property.

Cohabitants have very different rights under family law when it comes to property and financial matters. Common law marriage is a myth. If you’re not married or in a civil partnership, the law on property rights and financial settlements on separation is completely different. There is no legal requirement for cohabitants to be ‘fair’ when the relationship breaks down. By way of example, if you owned the property that you and your partner had lived in for the last 10 years in your sole name and you had no children together, your partner would have no legal claims against your property whatsoever. As there’s no contract of marriage in place and you don’t have any children, neither of you has any legal rights, responsibilities or duties in respect of the other person. Owning property in joint names and having children changes this position.

We’ve agreed terms on how to split our finances, how do we formalise our agreement?

In a consent order. Agreeing terms for settlement with your spouse is half the battle, but those terms must be approved by a court in…

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In a consent order. Agreeing terms for settlement with your spouse is half the battle, but those terms must be approved by a court in a consent order to be legally binding and enforceable. We call them ‘consent orders’ because they are agreed by you and not imposed on you by a third party. A judge must still be satisfied that the terms of your financial settlement are fair.

What about children?

We deal with children issues elsewhere and the most important thing to know is that married parents, mothers and some fathers have Parental Responsibility as…

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We deal with children issues elsewhere and the most important thing to know is that married parents, mothers and some fathers have Parental Responsibility as a matter of law.   That does not apply to children of the other partner and legal responsibility does not extend to parents’ partners, so without something in place, a parent-figure might have no legal standing.

Have a look at our section on children.

What about if one of us dies?

This is a complicated issue beyond the information we can provide here, but the particular circumstances of a family can be relevant to inheritance issues.  …

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This is a complicated issue beyond the information we can provide here, but the particular circumstances of a family can be relevant to inheritance issues.   In the absence of a Will, the laws of intestacy apply and the rights of a person only ‘living with’ somebody depend on property law, inheritance law and the terms of pension schemes and policies.

Rather than risk that lottery, it is usually better for couples living together to make Wills to say what should happen if they die.

What are my rights as a father?

Despite several myths circulating regarding fathers have less rights over their children than mothers, if you already have parental responsibility as a father, then each…

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Despite several myths circulating regarding fathers have less rights over their children than mothers, if you already have parental responsibility as a father, then each of you will start on an equal footing. The welfare of your children will be the paramount consideration. This is known as the welfare principle. In deciding what arrangements are in your children’s best interests, checklist of actors must be considered including:

  1. the children’s wishes and feelings (depending on their respective age);
  2. the children’s physical, emotional and educational needs;
  3. the likely effect of any change of circumstances;
  4. the children’s ages, genders, backgrounds and characteristics;
  5. any harm the children have suffered or risks of harm that they face;
  6. the capability of children’s parents or other relevant people in meeting their needs.

Unless you are a risk of harm to your children then it is unlikely that a court would prevent you spending time with them.

What are my rights if I get divorced?

If you have been married for more than one year, live in England and Wales and your marriage is recognised as valid in England &…

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If you have been married for more than one year, live in England and Wales and your marriage is recognised as valid in England & Wales, then you will be able to get a divorce provided you can evidence that your marriage has irretrievably broken down.

Your rights will differ depending on whether you mean your rights regarding children, property or other finances.

As a divorced person, you have the right to change your name back to your birth name, if you chose to change it on marriage.

What are the grounds for divorce? What evidence do I need to have to get divorced?

It is no longer necessary to cite a reason or attribute blame when applying for divorce. Now you need only make a formal declaration that…

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It is no longer necessary to cite a reason or attribute blame when applying for divorce. Now you need only make a formal declaration that your marriage has broken down, and you can do so jointly with your former spouse if you wish.

You will also need to provide the court with your original marriage certificate (photocopies will not suffice). If your original marriage certificate is not in English, it will need to be translated.

What documents do I need to get together before I can initiate divorce proceedings?

Your original marriage certificate or a court certified copy, this isn’t a photocopy. If your spouse no longer lives with you then you will need…

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Your original marriage certificate or a court certified copy, this isn’t a photocopy. If your spouse no longer lives with you then you will need an email address for them and a postal address where they can receive paperwork.

Although you do not need these documents for the divorce itself, it is worth starting to collate your financial documents. See finances.

What documents do I need to have in order to discuss financial matters?

Quite a few. A good starting place is the court document known as the Form E (Financial Statement). The Form E asks you for various…

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Quite a few. A good starting place is the court document known as the Form E (Financial Statement). The Form E asks you for various pieces of information with documentary evidence in support. It will alert you to the information needed, for example, equity in any properties in your name, savings and pensions.

What happens if we go to court?

Things will inevitably become more expensive and sometimes more acrimonious, but this can sometimes be the only way certain couple’s can resolve matters. Remember you…

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Things will inevitably become more expensive and sometimes more acrimonious, but this can sometimes be the only way certain couple’s can resolve matters. Remember you can continue negotiating and trying to reach a settlement during contested proceedings but you have the safety net of knowing that there will be an end date to your back and forth when the court will make a final financial remedy order that they consider to be fair in light of all of the circumstances of your case.

The court timetable will usually look something like this:

  1. Filing of a financial application using a Form A;
  2. Exchange of Financial Disclosure using Forms E;
  3. Ability to raise questions of your husband of wife’s disclosure using Questionnaires;
  4. A First Directions Appointment (“FDA”);
  5. A Financial Dispute Resolution Hearing (“FDR”);
  6. A Final Hearing.

What if I’m not getting anywhere in voluntary negotiations but don’t want to take my husband or wife to court?

That’s tricky. If you haven’t already, you could try mediation, collaborative law or arbitration. Be honest with yourself as to why you don’t think negotiations…

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That’s tricky. If you haven’t already, you could try mediation, collaborative law or arbitration. Be honest with yourself as to why you don’t think negotiations are getting anywhere. Is your spouse being obstructive? Are you being difficult? Are either of you not ready to move on? Could you use counselling? Is there a particular asset that either you or your spouse don’t want to let go of despite it being fair to do so? Do you need legal advice or representation? Do you need to issue formal proceedings to be taken seriously?

What if my husband or wife is hiding assets?

You and your spouse have a duty to disclose all of your assets in a manner that is full, frank and transparent. The court wants…

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You and your spouse have a duty to disclose all of your assets in a manner that is full, frank and transparent. The court wants you to put all of your cards on the table.

You will usually disclose your financial information using the Form E. Following financial disclosure by way of Forms E, you and your husband or wife are able to raise questions of each other’s disclosure by drafting a questionnaire. You both need to reply to each other’s questions as far as they are proportionate and this usually is an effective way to locate hidden assets. A court can also be asked to order that a party discloses specific information and documentation.

If your matter is more complicated than first meets the eye, then it is always worth considering whether to instruct a forensic accountant to review your husband or wife’s disclosure. Ultimately, if it is found that your husband or wife deliberately hid assets during financial negotiations, the consequences can be severe:

  1. a financial order may be set aside;
  2. proceedings maybe be brought against you for contempt of court, which could lead to a term of imprisonment or to a fine;
  3. you may be penalised on costs meaning that you would be ordered to pay some of your husband or wife’s legal costs for financial matters;
  4. if you are deliberately untruthful in your disclosure, criminal proceedings may be brought against you under the Fraud Act 2006.

What if my spouse dies during divorce proceedings? What if my husband or wife dies before we have resolved financial matters?

Do I get more money we hear you say? The answer to this depends on a few variables: has the final order of divorce been…

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Do I get more money we hear you say? The answer to this depends on a few variables: has the final order of divorce been pronounced as yet? Did your husband or wife leave a will?

Family law solicitors will usually recommend that you do not apply for the final order of divorce until overall financial matters have been resolved by way of a final financial remedy order. If you or your spouse has a pension, you would benefit from a widow or widower’s pension in the event that either of you die before the final order of divorce is made (before your marriage is terminated).

When the final order of divorce is pronounced, you are no longer married to each other and so neither of you will benefit from any widow or widower’s pension or various other financial benefits that you would ordinarily receive as a result of your status as a spouse.

Divorce is a life altering event and so people should consider changing their will or creating a will in contemplation of divorce. If your spouse has left a will that leaves you with nothing, you may be able to make a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. This is not the most straightforward area of law, so get some advice.

What if we split up?

We put that as part of ‘Should we have an agreement?’ because the agreement can govern the arrangements and provide greater certainty, even if people…

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We put that as part of ‘Should we have an agreement?’ because the agreement can govern the arrangements and provide greater certainty, even if people are happily or tolerably, living together.   Agreements are not simply to say what should happen if people separate, but that is a useful aspect that can be brought in.  Who lives where and what happens about – a sale or buy-out can be dealt with in a Living Together Agreement.   Many of the provisions would follow on from ownership, financial and practical issues considered for inclusion.

‘A stich in time, saves nine’ and thinking about arrangements before things go wrong may even help that not happening.  If somebody shows themselves to be selfish and unreasonable when discussing arrangements for living together, it serves as a warning that may save a broken heart and/or financial disaster later on.  Often people are deflected by an appeal to ‘trust me’ but a little evidence of trustworthiness, such as reasoned discussion before commencing cohabitation can make that easier.

We trust that answers at least some of your questions and sets your thinking on a productive track.

What is a consent order?

A consent order is a full and final court order embodying the terms that you and your spouse agree between yourselves, at mediation or through…

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A consent order is a full and final court order embodying the terms that you and your spouse agree between yourselves, at mediation or through your solicitors. Once approved, a consent order cannot easily be challenged. The starting point is that it should be upheld.

A consent order is strongly recommended when trying to finalise your divorce and divide your financial assets. This is because it is very difficult to re-open a consent order years after it has been approved. If you agree terms in an informal agreement that is not approved by a court, your spouse could apply to the court further down the line for financial provision. It can be expensive to defend an unwarranted “second bite at the cherry” but, by not entering into a consent order and / or clean break order, you could be leaving yourself exposed.

Specialist divorce and family law lawyers will be well equipped to help you draft an order in the correct manner.

What is a no-fault divorce? What is a fault-based divorce?

Prior to April 2022, family law required applicants for divorce to cite one of five reasons for the end of the marriage. A number of…

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Prior to April 2022, family law required applicants for divorce to cite one of five reasons for the end of the marriage. A number of these required attributing blame to the other spouse – effectively declaring that the divorce was their fault. Lawyers and campaigners argued for years that this encouraged unnecessary acrimony during an already emotional time.

The law has now changed. Under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act, applicants now need only make a formal declare that their marriage has broken down, and this declaration can be made jointly with their spouse if they wish. Because it is no longer necessary to attribute blame, the new legislation is often referred to as ‘no fault divorce’.

This is a welcome reform that will allow most couples to make the first steps in their separation as amicable as possible and end the old blame game.

What is a pre-nuptial agreement?

This is a document which sets out what money each party with exit the marriage or civil partnership with if the relationship breaks down. The…

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This is a document which sets out what money each party with exit the marriage or civil partnership with if the relationship breaks down. The document usually deals with property, pensions, maintenance and savings. It may also deal with other things like pets, jewellery and personal possessions. These types of agreement aren’t binding in the courts of England and Wales but they can be highly persuasive if they are seen to be fair at the time the parties split up.

Ideally both parties would enter into the agreement more than six weeks before their wedding or civil partnership takes place. It is ideal, but not mandatory for each party to take specialist legal advice from a family solicitor or barrister.

The more evidence there is that the parties both understood the terms of the agreement they signed, the more likely the courts will be persuaded to put into effect the terms of the agreement.

What is divorce? What does divorce involve?

Marriage is a legal relationship; a contract between spouses. Divorce is the legal process that terminates a marriage. It’s not a step to take lightly…

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Marriage is a legal relationship; a contract between spouses. Divorce is the legal process that terminates a marriage. It’s not a step to take lightly but, if there are no complicating factors, then the divorce process itself is largely administrative and straightforward.

It’s important to remember that the process of terminating your marriage is separate to the process that determines who gets the house or other financial assets (the finances).

If you’ve decided that you want to separate from your spouse you might be thinking “what’s the best way to formally end my relationship?” Divorce is one option but there are alternatives to divorce that might suit your circumstances a little more.

What is fair when splitting assets after divorce?

It is fairness in light of all of the circumstances of the case giving first consideration to the welfare of any children. In deciding what…

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It is fairness in light of all of the circumstances of the case giving first consideration to the welfare of any children. In deciding what is fair the court will consider:

  1. yours and your spouse’s resources – property, capital, income, earning capacity;
  2. yours and your spouse’s needs, obligations and responsibilities;
  3. your marital standard of living;
  4. yours and your spouse’s respective ages;
  5. how long you were married for;
  6. any physical or mental disabilities;
  7. yours and your spouse’s contributions to the welfare of the family;
  8. yours and your spouse’s conduct (not ordinary bad behaviour).

There’s no set formula for how to assess fairness. It’s important to seek advice regarding your specific circumstances.

What is parental responsibility?

Parental responsibility, sometimes abbreviated to “PR”, embodies all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which (by law) a parent has in relation to their…

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Parental responsibility, sometimes abbreviated to “PR”, embodies all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which (by law) a parent has in relation to their children and the children’s property. It gives you rights and responsibilities when bringing up children, making decisions for children and caring for children.

Having parental responsibility gives you responsibility for important decisions about a child’s welfare such as education, religion and medical care and also over ordinary day-to-day decisions such as nutrition and recreation.

Parental responsibility is important because holders of it are afforded legal status under the Children Act 1989. The Children Act 1989 is the main piece of legislation governing the way in which children are cared for during family breakdown.

What rights do I have in relation to my children after a separation?

What are my rights as a mother? What are my rights as a father? This depends on your circumstances. Both parents have a duty to…

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What are my rights as a mother? What are my rights as a father? This depends on your circumstances.

Both parents have a duty to look after their children. The law doesn’t specify how much time a child spends with each parent. The parents are expected to make their own arrangements regarding where children live, how often they see the other parent and how major life decisions are handled by them. Often, i can help if the parents agree a parenting plan with each other. A mediator or solicitor can help the parents agree a parenting plan if they need help.

Where can I find the forms and documents that I need for my divorce?

If you are represented then ask your solicitor for any forms or links. If you are unrepresented or undecided, then you can find court forms…

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If you are represented then ask your solicitor for any forms or links. If you are unrepresented or undecided, then you can find court forms on the .gov website.  You might need the name of the form you’re searching for to find the right document. For example, instead of searching for a divorce application, you would search for a form D8.

Who do the children live with after separation?

This is a decision that could be made between you both as parents without needing any external input. The court believed that the parties best…

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This is a decision that could be made between you both as parents without needing any external input. The court believed that the parties best placed to make important decisions about children’s wellbeing are their parents. If you can’t agree then you could try mediation or speaking to a specialist children and family lawyer. The considerations that you, a mediator, a family law solicitor and a court should take into account when guiding you on this question are the same: what arrangements would be in the best interests of your children and why? It’s important to remember that children thrive off routine, but that in and of itself is not a reason to exclude the other parent from a child’s life.

Who drafts the consent order?

A family law solicitor, mediator or barrister should be asked to draft a consent order on your behalf. This is what they’ve been trained to…

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A family law solicitor, mediator or barrister should be asked to draft a consent order on your behalf. This is what they’ve been trained to do. Legal terminology can be extremely complicated and, once approved, your order will be legally binding.

Who gets the pet?

Who gets the cat or dog? It depends. It might seem strange that we’re talking about this under finances but, yes, a pet is considered…

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Who gets the cat or dog? It depends. It might seem strange that we’re talking about this under finances but, yes, a pet is considered an asset when you divorce. The same principles that apply when dividing your capital and income, will apply when deciding who gets your pet.

Who has parental responsibility? If I don’t have parental responsibility, how can I get it?

This isn’t as obvious an answer as you might think. A mother automatically acquires parental responsibility on birth of a child. A father who is…

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This isn’t as obvious an answer as you might think.

A mother automatically acquires parental responsibility on birth of a child.

A father who is married to the mother of a child at the time of the child’s birth also automatically acquires parental responsibility.

An unmarried father does not automatically acquire parental responsibility. If you are an unmarried father, you can acquire (or may have already acquired) parental responsibility in one of six ways: (a) by being registered as a child’s father on their birth certificate, (b) by entering into a parental responsibility agreement, (c) by applying to the court for a parental responsibility order, (d) by being appointed as a guardian over a child on the death of their mother, (e) if a child arrangements order is made in your favour or (f) if you marry your child’s mother.

Step-parents, (a person married/civil partners with one of the child’s natural parents) can obtain parental responsibility either by (a) obtaining a parental responsibility agreement (provided that any people who currently have parental responsibility over the child or children allow you to) and (b) if they don’t, by obtaining a parental responsibility order from the court.

If a parent is cohabiting with another person, that person isn’t considered to be a ‘Step-parent’ and so can’t apply for a parental responsibility order although they may be able to acquire it if a child arrangements order is made which states that the child should live with the cohabiting parent.

Who owns what?

This is a big topic, but with informal living together arrangements, property law decides who owns what, so it is vitally important that ownership is…

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This is a big topic, but with informal living together arrangements, property law decides who owns what, so it is vitally important that ownership is properly recorded when a property is purchased.   Often property lawyers, don’t like to ask to many questions and often only want to know about auto-inheritance on death which determines whether they register it is as ‘beneficial joint tenancy’ (survivor inherits) or a ‘tenancy in common’ (no automatic inheritance).  The Land Registry proprietorship register says who owns the property and many people expect that the money they contributed or was given/borrowed from families will be respected, but that cannot be presumed.

Belongings are called ‘chattels’ in law and courts are very reluctant to spend time deciding on such things.   There is established law about objects and rights, but arguing or taking it to court is rarely productive.    Far better to have decided the principles to be applied before people split up.

Who pays child maintenance?

Child maintenance is paid by a parent who does not spend a set amount of time looking after their children (the paying parent).

Who pays for the divorce?

This depends on your individual circumstances, as well as those of your spouse. Quantifying these costs outside of the mandatory court filing fee can be…

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This depends on your individual circumstances, as well as those of your spouse. Quantifying these costs outside of the mandatory court filing fee can be tricky. Remember, you can always negotiate or compromise on a figure and communicate that with each other or, if you are represented, your solicitors.

Your fees for financial matters or issues relating to your children are a separate consideration.

Who pays for what?

Often people develop habits about how finances are run without much discussion or agreement. People have contracts with providers and the businesses get paid.  It…

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Often people develop habits about how finances are run without much discussion or agreement. People have contracts with providers and the businesses get paid.  It is between the people involved in the contract, unless there is some other law that applies, such as for Council Tax.

Far better to talk about such things and agree.

Will dating someone else during my separation impact my case?

It can. It’s important to remember that until the final order of divorce is pronounced in your case, you are still technically married. Serious new…

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It can. It’s important to remember that until the final order of divorce is pronounced in your case, you are still technically married. Serious new relationships can also impact upon the finances if your new partner lives with you or contributes to your household finances.

Will dating someone else whilst agreeing how to split our assets impact my case?

Serious new relationships during divorce can impact upon financial negotiations and settlements. Serious new relationships after divorce can impact on the financial provision that you’re…

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Serious new relationships during divorce can impact upon financial negotiations and settlements. Serious new relationships after divorce can impact on the financial provision that you’re receiving from your former spouse. During financial proceedings you’ll be asked about your intentions when it comes to cohabiting or remarrying a new partner. You have to be honest about those intentions.

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