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Is there an age that’s too old to divorce?

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The reasons a couple decides to divorce in later life have usually existed long before formal steps are taken to end the relationship. Things such as having an empty nest or more time because of retirement may only serve to exacerbate those issues. Although there is no set age that is too old to divorce, doing so in later life can lead to different issues and considerations than divorcing at a younger age. This article looks at the implications of divorcing in later life.

Why is divorcing in later life becoming more common?

The Office for National Statistics puts forward the fact that the increase in older people ending and forming new relationships is likely to be because they are living longer. In 2004, an average 65 year old man could expect to live for a further 17 years and a woman an additional 20 years. In 2017, this increased to 19 years for a man and almost 22 years for a woman.

Whilst that is certainly a factor, older people are now more connected, both economically and socially, than they have ever been before. People over 65 are more likely to be working and therefore able to support themselves outside marriage. They are also catching up with younger people in their use of social media and the wider internet, with online dating for “silver splitters” booming.

Breakdown of the implications of divorcing at later stages of life

While divorce at any age presents challenges, older adults face a unique set of financial, emotional, and legal considerations arising from factors such as retirement, health issues, and shifting family dynamics. Understanding these implications is essential for individuals navigating this situation and for the family members supporting them.

Financial security and retirement income

One of the most significant implications of late-life divorce is the potential impact on financial security, particularly for individuals who rely on pensions, retirement savings, or welfare benefits as their primary source of income. Divorce at an older age often means dividing retirement savings, which may have taken decades to accumulate. Family law typically considers pensions as marital assets, meaning they are subject to division during divorce, even when one spouse has never contributed to a pension. This can be a major blow to financial security, especially for women, who statistically tend to live longer than men and may need the financial resources to cover more years of living expenses.

Pension sharing orders allow one spouse to receive a portion of the other’s pension directly, which provides a fair distribution but can significantly reduce each party’s monthly income. Pension offsetting, on the other hand, allows one spouse to keep the pension while the other spouse receives assets of equivalent value. Though this preserves retirement income, it requires adequate alternative assets, which may not always be available.

Impact on housing and living arrangements

Late-life divorce also brings housing issues to the fore. Many older couples may have already paid off their mortgage or live in a family home with significant sentimental value. When a couple separates, selling the home may be the only financially viable option, but this can be emotionally challenging and may reduce their overall financial stability. Alternatively, one spouse may want to stay in the home, necessitating buyouts or mortgage refinancing, which may be difficult on a fixed income.

Living arrangements are further complicated when couples pool their finances with children or other relatives. If, for instance, an elderly couple lives with one of their children in a shared property, a divorce could disrupt this arrangement and potentially force the sale of the property or a reassessment of who covers living expenses. This might affect not only the divorcing parties but also the extended family members who share the household.

Healthcare and medical needs

Health issues are a common reality for many older adults, and medical needs can greatly impact divorce proceedings. If one spouse has significant medical expenses or requires long-term care, the couple’s joint assets might already be stretched to cover these costs. Divorce can strain finances further, making it difficult for each party to cover their respective healthcare needs independently.

In cases where one spouse requires ongoing care, financial arrangements during divorce may prioritise ensuring that spouse’s medical and personal care needs are met. This might involve spousal maintenance to cover care expenses or, in some cases, retaining a shared home so one spouse can continue receiving at-home care. However, the process can be complex and may require expert financial advice, especially when medical expenses are substantial.

Considerations when children are adults

When children are adults, their financial dependency on parents is usually minimal; however, the emotional impact of a divorce can still affect family dynamics. Adult children may need to become more involved in their parents’ lives, providing emotional support, financial advice, or even housing. In cases where one spouse moves in with an adult child following the divorce, family resources may become stretched, affecting the entire household’s finances.

In addition, older adults may have inheritance plans and may want to protect assets intended for their children. Divorce can complicate this, as asset division may diminish what is available to pass on. Trusts, property arrangements, and wills may all require updates to reflect new circumstances, ensuring that children’s inheritance rights are protected.

Division of benefits and social isolation

Divorce may lead to a reduction in eligibility for certain means-tested benefits because of asset division, leaving both parties with fewer resources.

In addition, the risk of social isolation is significant for older adults following divorce. Many couples have established social circles that are intertwined, and separating may disrupt these connections. Without the structure of a marital relationship, older adults can face loneliness, which can negatively affect their mental and physical health.

Legal and practical challenges

The division of assets like family businesses, investment properties, or other shared ventures can also be difficult. Such assets may have been carefully managed over decades, making it challenging to allocate them fairly without impacting their profitability or value.

Are there situations where age makes divorce no longer a viable option?

There are situations where age, coupled with certain circumstances, can make divorce seem less viable or practical. As people age, they often face increased dependency on stable routines, healthcare, and financial security, which can make separation more complex and difficult to manage. Here are several factors that can make divorce less viable in older age:

  • High dependency on spousal care If one spouse has significant health issues or disabilities and relies heavily on the other for care, divorce can become challenging. Losing the caregiver-spouse would mean either finding alternative care arrangements, which can be costly and may disrupt the person’s lifestyle and health, or moving into a care facility.
  • Divorce often means dividing assets, which can deplete savings intended for medical expenses. For individuals who rely on shared finances to cover health costs, especially those without a pension or substantial income, maintaining adequate medical care on a single income may be challenging.
  • Pensions and retirement savings are often a lifeline for older couples, and divorce can significantly reduce this income. Splitting these assets can leave both parties with insufficient funds, especially when one spouse did not contribute to a pension and relies on their partner’s income.
  • Older adults may have assets tied up in long-term investments, family businesses, or properties, which can be difficult to divide without losing their value. Liquidating or splitting these assets may lead to financial insecurity for both parties, making divorce financially impractical.
  • If an older couple has already paid off their mortgage and lives on a fixed income, selling or dividing a home can force both parties into more expensive housing situations. With fewer affordable or suitable housing options, especially in areas close to family or medical facilities, the cost of separate living arrangements may be unsustainable.
  • Many older adults are deeply attached to their family home. Losing this place can be emotionally taxing, especially if it’s where they raised their children or have other meaningful memories. Moving late in life is also a major stressor, which can discourage divorce.
  • Many older adults have tightly knitted social circles that include family and shared friends. Divorce can disrupt these social connections, leaving individuals vulnerable to isolation. For those without nearby family or a strong social network, staying together may feel preferable to the potential loneliness that can accompany a divorce.
  • The stress of divorce can have a particularly heavy toll on older adults, as they may have fewer psychological and emotional resources to cope with significant change. The adjustment to a new life, potential loneliness, and financial strain can lead to depression, anxiety, or a general sense of instability.
  • In older age, couples often focus on estate planning and leaving a legacy for their children and grandchildren. Divorce complicates these plans, as assets are divided and may require updates to wills, trusts, and inheritance plans. For individuals who feel a strong sense of duty to leave an inheritance, dividing assets may reduce the legacy they can pass on.

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