Info & Advice

Falsely accused of coercive control? What steps to take

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The Men’s Advisory Project, a charity that supports male domestic violence victims, claims that false allegations of abuse and coercive control are being used during family proceedings. This has led to some fearing the accuser will automatically be believed because of society’s attitudes to domestic abuse.

Sometimes allegations of controlling or coercive behaviour can be false and motivated by one party trying to punish the other, particularly in angry or bitter breakdowns. So it is perfectly plausible to think that in some cases one party accuses the other of abuse as a means of leverage to get what they want. But what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? Read on for details.

What steps can I take to protect myself against allegations of coercive control?

Being accused of controlling or coercive behaviour is not only emotionally distressing but, if found guilty could lead to imprisonment or adversely affect family proceedings such as arrangements for children. Whilst it is only right that true victims should have their voices heard, it is important that balance is struck for those that are falsely accused.

The most crucial step is to seek support and advice immediately. Even if the abuse hasn’t been reported to the police, legal advice will help you prepare for anything coming down the line. If you are subsequently arrested, you are entitled to legal representation and should take it, even if you think you can explain what happened. Many domestic violence prosecutions have been made based solely on admission under interview. Legal support will ensure this process is done properly.

At the outset, it is important to refute the allegations – if something didn’t happen, say so. Do not get into a debate and, unless advised otherwise, don’t respond to a list of false allegations with a point-by-point rebuttal of each one. Why? Because there will always be news ones to replace them. If the court orders a fact finding hearing it can take months before it takes place, days to go through the allegations and then a further period before you are able to make your case. This is where allegations should be answered, not in ping-pong correspondence.

Because of the nature of coercive behaviour taking place between two people behind closed doors, it is extremely difficult to refute false allegations. But if you are facing such allegations, it is crucial to act swiftly and strategically to protect your rights. Here are some practical steps you can take:

  • Document Everything: Keep detailed records of all interactions with your ex, including texts, emails, and social media messages. Any evidence that disproves the allegations, such as witnesses or timelines, should be documented and preserved.
  • Avoid Direct Contact: Minimise direct communication with your ex, especially if they might use it to further their claims. Use a third party or legal representative for necessary communications.
  • Gather Character References: Collect statements from friends, family, or colleagues who can vouch for your character and counter the allegations.
  • Prepare for Court: If the case proceeds to court, be prepared to present your evidence calmly and clearly. Your solicitor will help you build a strong defence.
  • Comply with Legal Orders: If there are any court orders, such as a non-molestation order, ensure you comply fully to avoid further complications.

Taking these steps promptly can help mitigate the impact of false allegations and protect your legal position should it be litigated in court.

What if the allegations are made during family proceedings?

In some cases, accusations of coercive behaviour can be an attempt by an ex to improve their position in divorce proceedings. They also tend to be made during applications involving children. When this happens, it is up to the court to decide whether coercive control has taken place and will probably seek to establish this during a fact finding hearing. To help the judge make a decision, evidence gathered from both parties and any experts will be examined.

Although these cases don’t always escalate to the police, it is possible the accuser could turn to the criminal law in a bid to gain the upper hand.

What if the court finds against me even though nothing happened?

Family courts are not criminal courts, and you are not a defendant, so it is important to understand that if something is found against you, it doesn’t mean you are guilty. Litigants often feel that the wrong decision has been made, which is why the court will say it finds something “more likely to have happened than not”. Having to accept the court’s findings can be extremely hard to swallow, especially when it is being used to delay matters and as a justification for opposing your application. If you decide not to accept the court’s findings, you run the real risk that the case will be held up indefinitely (or even dismissed) until you do so.

How do courts deal with false allegations?

Making false allegations is contempt of court. This happens when someone risks unfairly influences a court case and stops somebody from getting a fair trial by affecting its outcome.

A false allegation is a lie to the court and is especially serious if it is made under oath. The court demands honesty, fairness, and sincerity from everyone involved for the simple reason that without it, the best solution cannot be found. Therefore, someone who is making false allegations is trying to prevent the court from making an order that is in the best interests of the child.

However, despite this, and the court being aware that people lie during proceedings, there are times when exposed lies are left unpunished. This is because a court may decide that punishing a parent who has lied goes against the best interests of the child. A judge may be unhappy with someone who has lied in court and explicitly say so, and yet won’t order any kind of punishment.

That said, penalties are available to the court, including up to 2 years imprisonment, fines, and awarding costs to the other party for vexatious conduct.


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